A fear of success phobia seems counter-intuitive. Why would we be afraid of achieving the things we want?
Fear of failure is something that we all know and it makes sense. We’re scared of being embarrassed and ridiculed.
When we’ve learn’t that to receive love we need to “impress” and overachieve, our fear of failure means risking acceptance.
Not achieving would mean being worthless. Hence why we avoid failure at all costs.
Although failure is a hurdle that we all have to overcome, our fear of success can hugely sabotage our success.
So why are we scared of success? Here’s 3 things I’ve learn’t about our fear of success.
#1 Fear of outshining others
We’ve learn’t from a young age that to be “safe” and “secure” we need to be liked. As a consequence, we avoid standing out and we keep our goals and dreams small to fit in.
We have a fear of standing out in case we’re seen as a threat and rejected by the group. This can also lay the foundations of codependency, where we allow other people’s feelings dictate our goals.
When we become so concerned with what other people think, we feel guilt and shame if we make other people feel inadequate. So what do we do? We continue to play small?
#2 Fear of not being worthy
As introverts, one of our biggest challenges is imposter syndrome. Deep down we feel unworthy think that one day we’ll be “found out” that we’re a fraud.
We think one day someone’s going to email us saying “you don’t know what you’re talking about” so we carry this immense unworthiness.
We say things to ourselves like “I’ll be successful when I have a bigger following”, “I’ll be successful when I have created dozens of courses” or “I’ll be successful when I’ve dedicated 10,000 hours in this field”.
We’re sabotaging our success because of limiting capacity beliefs. We think that we need more money, more knowledge and more resources to create success.
The truth is that we’re already worthy. We have everything within us to create what we want.
#3 Fear of losing our belonging
We think that when we’re successful we’re going to leave people behind when we outgrow them. We afraid that our parents and friends won’t like us anymore if we earn more money than them. Ultimately, we’re paralysed by the fear of loss and being abandoned so we continue to play small.
Crush your fear of success
So are you going to keep playing small? Or are you going to crush your fear of success?
If you want to crush your fear of success, you have to recognise why you’re sabotaging yourself. Is that you feel guilty when you make people feel inadequate? Are you scared of losing friends and family?
Bringing your fears into awareness is the first step. Once you’re aware of what you’re scared of you can learn to observe those fears rather than absorb them.
And finally, it’s not just about you. You’re doing your tribe a disservice when you don’t share your message. By holding yourself back you’re holding all the other people back behind you. When you shine your light you give other people the permission to do the same.
Are you willing to crush your fear of success? What are you afraid of? Leave a comment below!