Here’s what I’m talking about today…
- How women entrepreneurs keep themselves stuck
- Resolving conflict through overcompensating
- Prioritising self-awareness to get unstuck
Women entrepreneurs unknowingly hold themselves back because deep down they believe that they’re fundamentally flawed.
Even if they’re ambitious and driven women entrepreneurs they’re stifled with deep-seated beliefs that keep them stuck.
This arms race between wanting to achieve and feeling fundamentally flawed creates inner conflict for women entrepreneurs and keeps them stuck.
They resolve their inner conflict by following the path of least resistance. This tends to be listening to their limiting beliefs and recreating negative circumstances in their lives. For example, when women entrepreneurs think “I’m unworthy for success” or “I don’t belong” they’ll overwork, undercharge, procrastinate and avoid selling in their business.
This keeps them stuck in a rut because they end up getting burnt out, giving too much to their clients and not earning enough money to stay afloat.
Viscous cycle isn’t it? Let’s explore.
Here’s 8 ways women entrepreneurs unknowingly keep themselves stuck:
We think we need to be perfect
When we disappointed our parents in the early stages of our lives, we interpreted this as not getting the approval or unconditional love from our parents. This created tension in our bodies that our minds resolved through creating fixed limiting beliefs such as: “I’m a failure”, “I’m not good enough”, “nobody loves me” and “I need to be perfect”.
These early experiences created fixed assumptions that are triggered whenever we experience tension, such as scaling our business or following up with a client we’ve previously had a sales conversation with.
Because deep down we feel fundamentally flawed we put immense pressure on ourselves to prove to people that we’re good enough.
This often gets expressed as overworking, procrastinating and taking on too much.
When we don’t feel like we’re “good enough”, we resolve our conflict through overcompensating.
We either get ourselves overwhelmed with too many ideas, stopping us from moving our projects forward, or spending waaaay too much time stressing about the “how” and doing everything the “right way” before we start anything.
When we want to possess knowledge and have everything figured out before we do anything new, we’re keeping ourselves stuck.
We think that getting more knowledge is going to give us the answers, but in reality we’re trying to understand everything to defend ourselves from threats from our environment.
Although it seems logical that getting more ideas and knowledge will give us the answers, it’s the action that’s going to bring us the clarity.
We have a hard time receiving
When we don’t feel worthy to receive this manifests as undercharging and allowing our clients to barter with us. This holds us back as it reinforces our identity that we’re not worthy.
If we want to expand in abundance and success we have to start charging our worth and sticking to it.
We have to realise that when we serve, we deserve. If you struggle with this concept make it your new mantra. “I serve I deserve!”
When we undercharge our worth, not only are we holding ourselves back but we’re holding our clients back too.
If we’re undercharging we won’t be able to show up as the best version of ourselves for our clients. We’ll also be bringing feelings of resentment and resistance into our sessions.
This disrupts the energy flow and prevents our clients from growing and thriving.
Our clients are our business and if we’re holding our clients back from becoming successful, we’re holding ourselves back too.
If we want to be trailblazers we have to take the lead with charging ourselves correctly so that we give our clients permission to do the same.
We’re afraid of failure and success
As women entrepreneurs we set BIG goals for our businesses but hide away our notebooks, never to be seen again!
We avoid looking at our goals because we’re paralysed by the fear of failure and feeling disappointed.
Looking back on our unaccomplished goals is far too painful for us to face so instead we choose to ignore them.
When we avoid our goals and hope that everything will turn out ok, we’re self-sabotaging.
If you’ve read my previous article on our upper limit problem you’ll understand the link between self-sabotage and our success comfort zone.
Read Overcome Self-Sabotage With These Three Vital Steps (I promise it works!)
Get out of the funk and stop seeing your goals with a “win” or “lose” mentality. Instead, see goal setting as a process of learning and growth.
We struggle to manage tension
As women entrepreneurs we know that building a business involves facing challenges consistently.
What we forget is that we need to have strategies and habits in place that act as buffers against developing stress.
Our default is using dysfunctional strategies to deal with tension such as blaming, complaining, drinking, gossiping, judging others and not taking responsibility.
When we fail to plan as women entrepreneurs, we plan to fail. We need to have structures and habits in place that mitigate the risk of stress.
These can be having a morning routine, taking breaks, exercising, journaling, having a mentor and scheduling enough social contact with friends.
We take rejection personally
When women entrepreneurs are turning their ideas into reality they face a ton of rejection along the way.
These are potential clients saying no to work with us, being turned down for publicity and not getting responses on our content.
Our default is taking these personally and saying things like “I’m not good enough”, “I’m a failure” and “nobody loves me”. This can lead to a downward spiral of feeling depressed and powerless.
What women entrepreneurs fail to see is that every rejection is a stepping stone to their success.
They’re failures are invitations for them to step into the bigger story that their past has prepared them for.
Every failure or rejection are opportunities for them to show up in a bigger way such as mastering their craft.
We have to start practicing the skill of eating rejection for breakfast. When we experience a no, we have to see it as an opportunity to grow and master our skills.
We put others needs first before our own
When women entrepreneurs are building their businesses they feel guilty that they’re neglecting others.
If they’ve had a history of dysfunctional parent-child relationships it’s likely that this has created unresolved feelings that has manifested into codependent relationships.
This means that they put other people first and feel guilty when they’re following their dreams.
When women spend their time and energy fixing and rescuing others, they prevent themselves from growing and expanding.
We must realise that if we want to have a positive influence on others we have to stop fixing and rescuing. Not only does it send the message that others are incapable to overcome their problems but it keeps us over-dependent on others.
As women entrepreneurs we need to be selfish and put our own needs first. When we take 100% responsibility for our happiness, we inspire others to do the same.
This starts with saying no, setting boundaries, practicing self-care and looking after ourselves first before we attend to other people’s agendas.
Women entrepreneurs hold themselves back by being impatient and resisting consistency.
The fail to recognize that building a business is like planting a seed. They can’t plant a seed and expect to harvest straight away.
Because of our culture of instant gratification women entrepreneurs think that their efforts arn’t working because they’re not seeing the results yet.
Instead they have to understand the power of the compound effect. The compound effect is the result of small actions performed consistently over time.
As women entrepreneurs we need to be patient and trust the process. What we resist persists. If we get deflated when we don’t see immediate results, we’ll stop taking action and stay stuck.
Instead we need to be consistent with the actions we do on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. There’s no silver bullet for creating exponential results. It’s consistency.
It’s easy to get stuck in a rut. The good news is that with self-awareness we have choices about how we live our lives.
We can choose to listen to our history or we can follow our destiny.
When we’re faced with stress or tension, it’s inevitable that our limiting beliefs are going to crop up. The trick is not to make them important.
Awareness is the first step. Once you are aware you have the power to create anything in your life.
When you see how your limiting beliefs keep recreating negative circumstances in your life, you’ll realise how you’ve kept yourself stuck.
If you want to get unstuck, you have to make a daily commitment to see when your limiting beliefs are holding you back and instead follow your inner guidance.
It’s time to take back your power and step into the woman that you were meant to be.
Here’s to your journey of epic success.
With so much gratitude and appreciation,